November 26, 2025

Children learn to lie from about the age of two, typically to conceal their wrongdoings. Lying is considered a milestone for children’s social and cognitive development. To tell a successful lie, they have to infer and reason about the lie-recipient’s mental state, and realise that other people may believe things that are wrong. This skill is called ‘theory-of-mind’ and is seen as a significant cognitive contributor to children’s lying. However, empirical studies have shown an inconsistent and inconclusive relation between theory-of-mind and lying. Previous research has sought to explain this variability, suggesting that factors such as parenting style may play a moderating role.  

In ‘Parental warmth moderates the relation between children’s lying and theory-of-mind’ (International Journal of Behavioural Development, 2023), Associate Professor Xiao Pan Ding, Cleo Tay, Shu Juan Goh, and Associate Professor Ryan Y. Hong (all NUS Psychology) investigated whether parenting styles moderate the relation between children’s lying behaviour and theory-of-mind, as well as shed light on the underlying social-cognitive mechanisms that drive children’s lying behaviour. In the study, the researchers analysed parental warmth and parental control as two theoretically independent dimensions of parenting styles, with parental warmth referring to a parenting style marked by affection and acceptance, and parental control referring to one marked by intrusiveness, pressure, and domination over children. 

They found that while parental warmth moderated the relationship between theory-of-mind and children’s lying, parental control did not. Crucially, the moderating role of parenting warmth only applied to children’s maintenance of their lies, but not to their tendency to tell the initial lie. Specifically, with a high level of parental warmth, children with higher theory-of-mind abilities were less likely to maintain their lies. According to MacDonald’s (1992) evolutionary analysis of warmth as a developmental construct, parental warmth cultivates a positive reward system which causes children with highly supportive parents to be forthcoming, and to respond by telling fewer lies. 

Ding et al.’s (2023) findings reinforce the idea that lying in childhood arises from the complex interaction between social and cognitive maturation. A supportive home environment fosters openness that counters children’s innate inclinations towards lying as they develop cognitively. As such, it is crucial to consider both internal cognitive changes and external social influences to gain a holistic understanding of pivotal developmental milestones like lying. 

Read the article here.